该用户匿名发帖 发表于 2011-5-5 18:45   全显示 1楼
人物的对话方面,对话内容过多而中间的描写过少.一般情况下最好写完一段对话再写点不是对话的描写,使文章更为充实,饱满.
语言用词方面有稍些单一,使读者容易枯燥,建议你写作之余能多读书,读好书,让文章更有文采,更能吸引人的眼球.
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该用户匿名发帖 发表于 2011-5-5 18:46   全显示 2楼
人物的对话方面,对话内容过多而中间的描写过少.一般情况下最好写完一段对话再写点不是对话的描写,使文章更为充实,饱满.
语言用词方面有稍些单一,使读者容易枯燥,建议你写作之余能多读书,读好书,让文章更有文采,更能吸引人的眼球.
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